General Dick Armquist was the leader of the U.S. Army appearing only in the first game. He is one of the major military leaders in America, along with Silhouette.
Armquist is a middle-aged with brown hair and blue eyes. He wears a light brown military uniform, brown leather shoes and a matching peaked cap. He usually wears aviators, but is seen without them in the remake whilst talking to Silhouette in his office.
Despite his frail appearance, he can be quite agile, being able to land a decent punch. He is also able to pilot his own personal power suit, equipped with missiles and arm blasters.
Armquist is very patriotic and takes a very anti-communist stance. He's also quite aggressive, preferring the use of nukes on those he deems America's enemies. His life is run in a very military fashion and considers it quite fun. Despite being a loyal American, he dislikes most of his allies, including Silhouette for being shady, and President Huffman for being a puppet for the Majestic. He and Jack Higgs also have something of a professional rivalry, but are willing to work together for the greater good of the country.
Armquist was first seen at the beginning of the game overlooking the missile launch pad experiment at Area 42. He's the first to notice Cryptosporidium 136's Saucer flying over the missile. He ordered the experiment to be stopped, but the missile launches, taking down the Saucer. He ordered the craft and the Furon to be captured.
Armquist isn't seen again until he leads an Army convoy to destroy Santa Modesta's radio towers in order to end Bert Whither's broadcast. Though he employed several tanks and the newly introduced Power Suits, he lost the battle to Cryptosporidium 137.
Armquist was later seen at Area 42, inspecting the Air Force's new saucer prototypes. Crypto had a truck with a nuclear device attached which was detonated in a failed attempt to assassinate Armquist, who was notified and ordered to come to Capitol City by Silhouette. Once there, Silhouette informs him of Majestic's plan to unify all branches of the United States Military under the Majestic, angering Armquist. Grudgingly, he obeyed her demands and went to Union Town where he called for the leaders of the Marines, Air Force, and Navy. Crypto snuck into the meeting, disguised as the Navy's leader and turned the other two against Armquist. Crypto then revealed himself when pressed by Armquist, who responded by punching the Furon and suiting up in his own power suit and fought Crypto, but his defeat was all but certain.
After the fight, Armquist was lying down near his ruined mech. Crypto then made a fake peace offering, telling Armquist they could find a way to work together. Armquist, for once, considered peace as the answer and believed his remarks. Crypto disintegrates Armquist immediately afterward. Armquist's death was covered up by having him be painted as a secret Soviet spy who was killed as he attempted a coup.
- "No beet-eating, vodka-swilling, trotskyite, son of a bitch is gonna hijack this great nation's god-given airwaves, not on my watch! Charge!
- "Take out those comm towers now! All units, attack, attack, ATTACK!"
- "Never too busy to watch the Air Force fall flat on its face, Jack."
- "Thats it? That's your ultimate weapon?"
- "Forty-million dollars for that?!" (after watching an experimental VTOL aircraft fall to the ground)
- "I don't take orders from you!"
- "Are you outta your mind! You really think the Joint Chiefs will let Majestic swallow them whole without a fight!"
- "Yes, sir."
- "The evidence is overwhelming. First, communist spies infiltrated a small country fair in the American heartland, and kidnapped the winner of the beauty pageant, violating her corn-fed virtue in god-only-knows what unspeakable ways. When they were done with her, they destroyed the whole fairground. Civilian casualties were tragically high."
- "Last, a communist agent used an experimental nuclear explosive device in a direct attempt to assassinate me at Area 42!"
- "I don't know who the hell you are, general, but you got a big mouth!"
- "You shoot like a girl, Vladimir! Come and get me, you commie piece of crap!"
- "You can run you little freak, but you can't hide!"
- "You... You didn't want to destroy us?" (believing Crypto's lie about wanting peace)
- "I guess at the end of the day we really are all just... human beings." (Last words before being disintegrated)
- Opening Cutscene
- Suburb Of The Damned
- Duck And Cover
- Mr. Crypto Goes To Capitol City
- Armquist Vs. The Furons! (killed)
- Armquist appears to have been designed after General Douglas MacArthur.
- Armquist walks with a slight limp on his right side, possibly an injury he may have suffered from the saucer crash at the beginning of the game.
- Armquist's line about "protecting [his] preciously bodily fluids" is a reference to the identical line said by General Ripper in the film Dr. Strangelove.
- He also seems to be partially based on Rod Steiger's character, General Decker, in the 1996 Tim Burton movie Mars Attacks!. Both are high authority figures in the U.S. Army and don't trust the extraterrestrials, only seeking their demise. Both are also killed by the aliens after being tricked by them.
- His first name is revealed in the deleted mission (restored for the remake) The Wrong Stuff.
- Armquist is mentioned twice in Destroy All Humans! 2.